What would your life be like if you truly loved yourself? How would you feel? Keep reading to learn to use radical self-love to tap into the wisdom of your mind, body and soul and completely transform the way you feel about yourself. Experiment and figure out which strategies work best for you!
Self-love is a word that’s thrown around all the time yet most of us don’t really take the time to think about what it really means to us. I feel like we are just like oh self-love, yeah that thing, I should probably do that…..but then we never really take the time to dig deeper and discover it.
Who are you when you give yourself full permission to be exactly as you are?
What inner critic messages are you listening to and letting hold you small?
What does your authentic inner self know to be true?
What would be different if you chose to listen to/believe/honor your inner soul?
What is radical self love?
Let me take the pressure off…. radical self-love doesn’t have to mean doing super “radical” things. It can actually be really simple, little things. The reason I refer to it as radical self-love is because loving yourself is radical in and of itself. We live in this world that teaches us that we basically need to be perfect in order to be worthy of love and acceptance. So no wonder, we have a fucking hard time accepting ourselves. Not to mention there’s a whole bunch of people who are profiting off our insecurities (thanks diet culture).
To me, radical self-love is…..
- Giving yourself full permission to be exactly as you are
- Witnessing and integrating all part of yourself with curiosity, not judgement
- Living from the inside out
- Having compassion for yourself even when you feel like you’ve “made a mistake”
- Opting out of the multi-billion dollar belief system that tells you that you have to be thinner, prettier, more accomplished, have more money (and so on) in order to be worthy of love and acceptance
- Asking yourself “what do I really need right now?” and honoring that
What does radical self-love mean to you?
There is no one size fit’s all approach to self-love. It’s okay if your version of self-love looks different than mine (or anyone else’s). That’s why I’m giving you 21 simple ways to practice radical self-love….so you can experiment and figure out what works best for you!
21 simple ways to practice radical self-love
Affirmations are like work outs for the mind (which I’d argue is just as important as physical exercise, or what I like to call joyful movement). Over time, they can help re-program your subconscious mind and beliefs which will help you get into alignment with the life you really want to live.
For example, if you’re someone who believes you are worthy of love and taking good care of yourself, your actions will align with that belief because it’s your identity and who you really are. Affirmations can help us take these actions we need in order to become that future version of us that we want to be.
Need some ideas? Here’s 18 of the Best Self-Love Affirmations!
Health is SO much more than your physical body. Are you nourishing your mind and soul too? Are you leaving mental space and energy for your relationships, spiritually, mental health, fun, self-care, career, etc?
When we’re so focused on eating the perfect diet and having the perfect body, we completely neglect the needs of our minds and souls. Yes, I’m all for honoring your body with gentle nutrition but don’t forget to honor what your mind and soul need as well.
3. Honor your intuition
Honor your intuition first and foremost. The wisdom of your mind, body and soul is literally infinite. All you have to do is listen to it. We’re told ________ (a certain diet, perfect body, perfect relationship…you name it) is what will lead to health and living our best lives so of course we search high and low for the answer. We want to be accepted. We want to be loved. We want to be happy. We try everything under the sun to feel better about ourselves. But somehow it never works.
The one place we forget to look is within ourselves. We have everything within us that we need to feel completely free (around food, in our bodies, in our relationships…in all areas of life).
Ask yourself: Is this in alignment with my soul? What would I do if I didn’t care what anyone else thought? Does this feel light and freeing? Or does this feel heavy and tense?
Mindfulness starts with curious, nonjudgemental observation. Notice when you’re feeling negative about yourself. Ask yourself, what’s really going on here? Let yourself dig deep. Go there. Be with whatever it is.
Mindfulness isn’t about “emptying the mind”, “clearing the mind,” or “stopping thoughts.” The mind’s nature is to think. We become mindful to see those thoughts more clearly. Seeing our thoughts more clearly allows us to more easily accept them. And as we become more accepting of our thoughts, we become more self-loving.
My favorite ways to practice mindfulness are meditation and breathing exercises (for example, breathe in for 6 seconds, hold for 3, breathe out for 7). What other ways could you practice being mindful?
5. Be open to evolving
Who would you be without your shoulds? Who would you be if you weren’t trying to be who others told you to be?
You’re allowed to write your own story. You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to evolve. You’re allowed to be someone different than you were yesterday. If you are being true to you, then it’s self-love.
6. Trust & let go of control
Do you try to control everything? How much energy are you spending on it? What would it feel like to surrender and trust that things are happening as they are meant to? Can you be at peace knowing what you deserve and that your worth isn’t dependent on if you get what you want exactly as you planned it?
Maybe you’re someone who always feels like you should have done more. But if you were supposed to get more done that day, you would have. Can you trust that what you did was exactly enough?
7. Forgive yourself
Most of us are WAY harder on ourselves than anyone else. We are human. We are not supposed to be perfect. See if you can have compassion for yourself when you make a mistake. Mistakes aren’t inherently bad; they are part of life. It’s the meaning we attach to them that makes us feel bad. What are you making the mistake mean about you? Is it really true? What if you could be grateful for your mistakes and see them as a good thing? What if every time you made a mistake, you knew it meant that you were up-leveling and growing?
8. Neutral thinking
What if we were able to remove ourselves from good vs bad thinking and take a more neutral approach? What if you could just become aware of your thoughts and behaviors without labeling them as good or bad? Do you think you’d feel more free and at ease?
Trying to find absolute rights and wrongs is just a trick we play on ourselves to feel secure and comfortable.Pema Chondron – When Things Fall Apart
9. Social media detox
Do you follow people on social media who make you:
- feel bad about yourself
- negatively compare your choices to others
- feel bad about the things you love?
Imagine what it would be like to only follow people who make you:
- feel inspired to be the best version of yourself
- love and accept yourself as you are
- feel uplifted and supported
This week, I challenge you to UNFOLLOW ANYONE WHO SHIFTS YOUR MOOD TOWARDS NEGATIVITY. When you curate your feed with positive messages and people that make YOU feel good, it’s a game changer. Social media doesn’t have to be something that makes you feel like shit. It’s up to you if you choose to allow that.
Sometimes though, even after unfollowing these people, you might find yourself sucked back into the comparison trap. That’s completely normal. Remember, we’re only human right? Would a complete detox from social media feel good for you? Would you be able to come back with a better perspective after taking some time off?
A lot of times we think of gratitude as appreciating things outside of us. But, turning our gratitude inward is just as, if not more, important. How can you shift from thinking about what you don’t have to what you do have? To what you want, not what you don’t want. To what you love, not what you hate?
What do you like about yourself? Maybe “I am grateful for my determination”.
What wins (even tiny ones) can you celebrate today? Maybe “I am grateful for taking 5 minutes to myself to meditate”.
What future goals and dreams can you be grateful for now? Maybe “I am grateful for landing my dream job as a _______”.
Your mind-body-soul is like a garden. Your conscious attention is the water and your thoughts are the seeds. Water the seeds you want to grow and flourish in your mind-body-soul.
One of the most effective ways to practice self-love is journaling. It’s an opportunity for self-exploration and discovery, which is what self-love is all about. It can help you get clear on how you’re feeling, work through negative emotions, release stress and anger, transform your beliefs and so much more! There is no one size fits all approach to journaling so do it in whatever way feels good to YOU.
12. Recognize and transform your limiting beliefs
What beliefs are you holding onto that are stopping you from being able to love yourself? Maybe you’re telling yourself, “I can’t love myself until I weigh X pounds”.
How do you feel when you think about that belief? (maybe sad and unworthy)
Where did the belief come from? Did you hear it growing up from someone you admired? (maybe you observed your mom constantly trying to lose weight and you picked up on her belief that if you weigh less than a certain amount, it is “better”)
What will the consequences be if you don’t let go of this belief? (maybe you’ll stay stuck at war with your body for the rest of your life)
Who would you be without this belief? (maybe you’d be free and be able to love yourself)
What new empowering belief can you adopt instead? (maybe “Who I am right now is more than enough” or “I can feel worthy, happy and healthy at any weight”)
13. Treat yourself to something you love
Do something that is for YOU that makes YOU feel good! Get a mani/pedi. Buy a new outfit. Invest in yourself by signing up for that online course you have been eyeing. Go to your favorite restaurant. Whatever it is for you, give yourself permission to have or do it. You deserve it.
14. Go on a solo vacation
Alone time is scary but it creates the space we need for us to grow and tap into our intuition. And there’s something about alone time in a new place that really accelerates that growth and self-discovery. Where have you been dying to go? What are you waiting for? Book the trip now 🙂
15. Take a “self-love” day off work
We live in this crazy world that associates productivity and busyness with status and worth. It’s ridiculous. Giving yourself permission to slow down and take a break is one of the most radical self-loving things you can do. Take a day off of work and do whatever the fuck you want.
16. Read an inspiring book
Read a book that inspires you to love yourself exactly as you are. Here’s some of my favorites:
- Body Respect
- Health at Every Size
- Loving What Is
- When Things Fall Apart
- You Are A Badass
- Radical Acceptance: Embrace Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha
17. Embody the future version of you (who LOVES and accepts themselves fully)
Who do you need to be in order to love yourself? What do you need to believe about yourself to be true in order to manifest it? If you already loved yourself, how would you feel? How would you act? What would you say/do/think?
Constantly ask yourself, what would the future version of me who already loves themselves do/say/think? Then actually do those things and be that version of you now.
18. Protect your energy
You can’t control the way other people think and act. You can only control how you respond to it. Other people’s energy has nothing to do with us; it’s always a projection of their own struggles and how they feel about themselves.
When you become aware of the the fact that other people’s energy has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person, this means you can just accept this person as being a victim of their own belief system and you don’t have to take on their thoughts and feelings. It’s our choice whether or not we take on other people’s shit.
As much as we want to be able to tune out other people’s judgements about themselves that come out on us, it’s not always that easy. Especially if you are working on cultivating more self-love. That’s okay. Are there any boundaries you need to set with people in your life? What relationships are adding value to your life? Which ones are taking away from it? Are there any relationships that you know deep down it’s time to let go?
19. Look for the lesson
Instead of thinking “ugh, why do I have to feel ________ (insert negative feeling here)” think “what is this feeling trying to teach me?”.
Would you say the same shit you say to yourself to a friend, or your kids, or your partner? Would you tell them they are stupid, ugly, not good enough, a failure, etc?
What if you could have the same level of understanding, care and compassion towards yourself that you have with the people you love? How would that feel? What might your life look like?
Click here to learn more about what self-compassion is and 7 ways you can practice it!
21. Hire a coach or therapist
There is NO SHAME in asking for help. It is HARD to cultivate new thought patterns, beliefs and behaviors on our own. Coaches and therapists provide a safe space and an opportunity for you to be heard. They help you uncover what’s really going on and support you in discovering and implementing your own solutions.
As a coach myself, I help my clients tap into the wisdom of their mind, body and soul to unlock their freedom and create the life of their dreams. And self-love is just one of the many tools we use to do that.
If you want to learn more about working with me and how to develop a healthier, more loving relationship with yourself, you can schedule a FREE initial consultation here!
Which of these strategies is your favorite? Let me know in the comments below!